The Found Fathers

The fathers we can choose or the ones who choose you.

Matthew Seller's father was not a safe man, although, had he not been destroyed by poverty and hunger he may well have been different all together. He was broken, frightened, exhausted and when he was drunk, it all came out in his fists. The cost of his state of mind was paid by his wife and his children, in the dark, behind the latched oak door of their labourer's cottage.

Running Away — a desperate decision

Matthew left home in the night, under a full moon. He was a ten year old boy with no plan other than the knowledge that anything would be better than this. With a coat stolen from his father, boots handed down by his brother and a sizeable amount of courage and determination, he headed down the path towards Birmingham. On that road to his future he met three men who were under no obligation to help him at all, they became his found fathers.

Nigel Beck — The Gardener

Nigel gave him a garden to work in and the quiet company of a man who never raised his voice. That's it. He taught Matthew that his father had been right, sometimes you have to do things in life you don't want to do. Nigel also reminded Matthew how to ground himself in the land. Matthew had lost his mind and his head in the violence and the knee-jerk decision to run away. It was Nigel who brought him back down to earth gently. That was the whole gift.

But for Matthew, watching a man move through his days with steady dignity and simple kindness, was like seeing colour for the first time. He also watched how Nigel treated his wife, Charlotte, with kindness and respect. They worked as a team, each to their strengths. They didn't need to shout at each other, Nigel and Charlotte showed Matthew what a healthy relationship looked like.

Bert Austin

Bert worked his narrowboat along the canal network around Birmingham. He looked at the boy who offered to use his skills with herbs to fix his lame horse; he looked at Matthew carefully. Bert is a man of few words, he sized up this young lad and saw his worth. He saw that Matthew might also provide him with a solution for getting behind on his delivery. There was definitely something in it for him, but he didn't have to be nice about it — but he was nice. He was reasonable and gave the lad a chance.

He sized Matthew up and asked him, "are you good for this?" He knew he was and he didn't make a thing about it. He quietly stepped up and taught Matthew how to succeed. He taught him how to tack up Samson, the locks, and useful knots — although that nearly ended in disaster. Bert was not strict but he was fair. He oozed simplicity, behaving honestly and calmly. He demonstrated to Matthew what decency in a working class man looked like.

Joe Murdoch - a true found father

Joe was the man who truly changed Matthew's life and became the most important found father. He taught him his trade, corrected his arrogance and quietly supported him when he missed his mother. It was Joe who encouraged Matthew to go home and see his dying father before it was too late to make his peace. Joe did this because he knew from bitter experience what it was to lose that chance.

"I owe everything to Joe"

Matthew had said. Although, maybe he owed something to all three of these men.

Not every father is the one who raises you. Some of them find you later, when you need them most, and love you in exactly the way you need to be loved; even if they don't know that's what they're doing.

So, here's to the gardeners, the boatmen, the engineers and the professional men, maybe even the quiet and the anxious men who build something solid and hand it on. It could be that they matter far more than they could ever know.

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A Legacy Forged can be found here and is book one of the Seller & Son Trilogy.

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